Funny one liners quotes. 138 Funny Sayings And One Liners To Tickle Your Funny Bone 2019-10-28

Funny one liners quotes Rating: 4,5/10 141 reviews

24 Funny One

funny one liners quotes

A dog has an owner. The first thing the bastard did was made me pay in advance. That's why it's helpful to have a good one-liner in your back pocket. A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have. Any argument carried far enough will end up in semantics. Because they could crack up.

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Lots of Really Funny One Liners and Very Short Jokes

funny one liners quotes

Also, let us know if you have any funnier ones by adding in the comment section below. Most of us aren't stand-up comedians, and we don't walk around with a full repertoire of funny jokes to share at parties. Anarchy is better than no government at all. Friday, I was in a bookstore and I started talking to a French looking girl. Programming errors which would normally require one day to find will take five days when the programmer is in a hurry. If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. A penny saved is an economic breakthrough.

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One Liners

funny one liners quotes

Sugar - Honey - Iced - Tea. Jesus loves you, it's everybody else that thinks you're an a. When I was a teenager, I stole a car and drove it out into the desert and set it on fire. The chief cause of problems is solutions. Sure, I'd love to help you out. Forgetting to zip up, 4.

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Witty One Liners

funny one liners quotes

What is sticky and brown? The control key on the keyboard does not work. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues. I started with nothing, and I still have most of it. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? I would like to slip into something more comfortable - like a coma. What happens to mountains when they touch each other? I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.

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80 Funny Quotes

funny one liners quotes

What do you call a bull that likes taking a nap? What would happen if Superman consumed Lbs of laxative? The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. A reliable joke never fails to break the ice during social interactions, and goodness knows can use all the help we can get in those situations! Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people. I broke a leg one time … spilt coffee all over. This List of quotes and sayings commonly used in everyday conversational English, can help to speak English like a native speaker by learning English idiomatic expressions and proverbs. Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. Google request: How to disable autocorrect in wife? Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

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One Liners

funny one liners quotes

You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave the wife. Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.

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Witty One Liners

funny one liners quotes

History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes, and you will learn a lot today. You either have to be first, best, or different. Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. The dogs bark but the caravan moves on. So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.

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Funny Movie Quotes: The 30 Funniest Movie One

funny one liners quotes

My dog is smarter than your honor student. If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas! Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button. A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous. All probabilities are really %. The lesson is, never try. Make sure to give these funny one liners a share on Facebook before you go! Do chickens think rubber humans are funny? Rodney Dangerfield had captured the minds of his audience with his ribald,. You may die of a misprint.

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